apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm at about main and main street
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
