Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
