@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
