My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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