is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
