Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
