Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
third nipple confirmed
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
