sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
