There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
