dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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