ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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