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so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
