Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
