i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
