He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
