AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
