Four minutes until I can fart!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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