I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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