is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
