wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
im holly from the hills drunk
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
