his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
