dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
