Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
