yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
its not stalking. its research.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
