dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
