I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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