I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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