yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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