i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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