Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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