please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ketchup is God's man juice
this boner is exhausting
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
A+ Viking dick
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