Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
