I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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