Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She needs sedatives and a leash
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
