I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize