Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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