My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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