where am i from again
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize