and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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