Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize