On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
