ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
