Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize