Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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