i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
