he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We just shotgunned beers for America
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
