please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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