omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
