sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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