On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
there's paper in my vomit.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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