I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
