i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
