just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
now i know why i became what i already was.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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