I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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