Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
