Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
