Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
smell my finger.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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