some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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