she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
