Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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