my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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