Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
