Christians are straight up FREAKS
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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