Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
